


Cursebreaking For Dummies

by LostyK



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magic, Animal Transformation, Can be read platonic or pre-romantic, Curses, Gen, Magic, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:55:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25490479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LostyK/pseuds/LostyK
Summary: Janus and Virgil had a good thing going, running the only magick shop in town. Even if they don't believe in magic themselves, there are plenty of people who do.Unfortunately, they might have done to good a job selling it, because now there's a guy asking for Virgil's help breaking a curse.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders
Comments: 6
Kudos: 77





	Cursebreaking For Dummies

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the prompt “15: So you need to break a curse” sent by @theeternalspace, thanks so much!

_The Yellow Serpent_ was, according to the local paper, ‘the best occult shop around’. Janus had told Virgil this with the same smile he had worn when he had explained that he’d managed to get the answers for Mrs Bakers test – it was the look of a con carried out well.

No one was surprised when Janus left town as soon as high school was over. Everyone knew that Janus was destined for something more – though what that something was depended on who you asked. What _was_ surprising was that Janus had come back, rented out the shop space left empty since the sewing shop closed, and started selling incense and magic crystals.

The way Janus had explained it to Virgil (and probably only to Virgil) was that there were two kind of people who ran magick shops (the k was important, apparently). The first kind was the true believers, the kind who probably had an altar in the back and had tested all the spells they talked about. The second were people who saw how much people were willing to pay for this stuff, and decided to take advantage of it. Janus was one of the latter.

Virgil and Janus were the only two full time employees, though with Janus managing the business side of things, Virgil was usually the one in charge of the shop itself. They had one part time employee, a high schooler named Elliot who seemed to have imprinted on Virgil since the moment they saw him.

It was the middle of the week, which meant it was quiet. Janus would be in soon, which at the very least would give Virgil someone to talk to. So far, there had only been two customers, so Virgil had started making up the herb bundles out of sheer boredom.

He’d just finished the last of the _True Love Bundles_ (put it under your pillow while you sleep, or use as part of a spell) when the bell over the door jangled.

Virgil left the backroom and went into the shop itself, where the new customer had already reached the counter. He was dressed in a green crop top, a large backpack slung over his shoulders. There was a streak of white in his hair and he had a handlebar moustache. He didn’t look like the kind of person you’d expect to find in a shop like this, which made him a perfectly average customer.

“Quick,” the man said, “I need to break a curse.”

If Janus were here, he would ask the man what kind of curse it was, and direct him to a certain kind of incense which would ward away bad energy or something. Unfortunately, it was only Virgil, and Virgil was terrible at thinking on his feet.

“Is that a pickup line?” Virgil asked. The man just looked confused, and Virgil’s mouth kept talking without his brain’s permission. “You know, like true loves kiss to break a spell?”

 _Damn it, Virgil, stop talking_.

The man suddenly looked interested. He leaned over the counter. “Do you want it to be?”

Virgil was sure his face was probably the colour of a tomato. Fortunately he was saved from either answering or being swallowed up by the earth by something barking in the man’s backpack.

“We don’t allow dogs,” Virgil said, taking the distraction and clinging on for dear life.

“Oh, it’s not a dog.” The man fished a creature out of his backpack and set it down on the counter. “It’s my brother.”

Virgil looked at the animal in front of him. The animal looked back. “Your brother… is a Pomeranian.”

The dog barked.

“Well, he is _now_ ,” the man said.

“Let me guess,” Virgil drawled, “A witch turned him into a dog.”

“Yes!” – The dog barked – “Well, a Dragon Witch, but close enough!”

Virgil was pretty sure not even Janus would be able to go along with this one. Of course, this would never happen to Janus, because Janus was a bastard who never had to deal with karma for his actions. No, instead the universe had decided to punish Virgil for the scam they were running.

“Okay,” Virgil said with a sigh. “You need to leave.”

The man had the audacity to look surprised. “What for?”

“How about everything?”

The dog growled, and Virgil took a step back. Sure, the thing was tiny, but Virgil wasn’t taking any chances. It still had teeth, didn’t it?

“You’re pretending your dog’s a person,” Virgil pointed out when the man still looked blank.

“He is!” the man protested, at the same time as the dog barked.

“Look,” Virgil snapped. “I only work here because my friend asked me to. None of this stuff is real! It’s all mass produced in some factory somewhere. So why don’t you find another audience for your hilarious joke and stop wasting my time.”

The man stared at him. If Janus had seen that, he’d probably start yelling. Not because Virgil shouted at a customer – Janus would have his back on that one – but because Virgil had said that it wasn’t real. Janus had a thing about never stopping the illusion.

Suddenly, the man tilted his head back and burst into loud, cackling laughter. The dog shot the man an irritated look, or at least, a look that would have been irritated, if it was capable of that. Which it wasn’t, because it was a _dog_. It was probably just wondering when it would get to continue its walk.

“I don’t believe this,” the man said. “You sent me to a _fake shop_.”

The dog barked once, and Virgil must be losing it because he could swear the dog looked indignant. The man waved his hand.

“Sure, sure, anyone could have made that mistake. Hey, while we’re at it, why not try homeopathy?”

“We don’t sell homeopathic treatments,” Virgil said automatically.

Conning money out of gullible fools was one thing, Janus had said. Conning money out of desperate sick people was better left to televangelists and the health care system.

Speaking drew the man’s attention back to him, which was probably a mistake. He grinned, and lean over the counter, giving Virgil a good view of the purple eyeshadow he was wearing.

“So, know anywhere that sells real magic shit?”

There was probably a lot of ways Virgil could answer that. Unfortunately, the one his mouth chose was, “What the fuck is real magic?”

“I’m glad you asked! What’s your favourite animal?”

Virgil had no idea if he was witnessing a strange attempt at flirting, a far too elaborate prank, or a breakdown.

“You’re mad,” he told the man.

“Please,” the man said with a wave of his hand. “My _father_ is mad. Call me Remus.”

Virgil snorted, and then tried to hide it with a cough. The man looked delighted. The dog very much did not. It tried to tug on Remus’ arm, which, since Remus wasn’t wearing sleeves, mostly involved biting Remus.

“So,” Remus said, apparently unaware that he was being mauled. “Favourite animal?”

Fuck it. What was the worst that could happen?

“Spiders, I guess.”

Remus looked Virgil up and down then nodded. “Goes with the aesthetic. Alright, Spiderboy.”

He cupped his hands together on the table, palms up. Virgil was about to ask what he was doing, when the air above his hands seemed to _flicker_ , and a spider appeared.

Appeared was the only word for it. One moment there was no spider, and then the next there was one. Like when a video lagged, so the enemies just seemed to pop up.

The spider leaped out of Remus’ hands and towards the dog, who yelped and leapt backwards, falling off the counter. Remus laughed. Virgil should probably leap back too, but he was rooted in place.

“What the hell?” he cried.

“Tadaa!” Remus said. “Magic.”

Virgil shook his head, staring at the spider, which now stood in the middle of the counter. He reached one hand out, then immediately thought better of it and pulled the hand back again.

“Is it real?”

“Eh,” Remus shrugged, “Define real. You can touch it, though. Put your hand out.”

Virgil hesitated, because just because he liked spiders didn’t mean he instantly trusted them, especially when they appeared out of nowhere and were bigger than any spider had the right to be. Still, he figured that Remus probably wasn’t trying to kill him, so he placed his hand palm up on the surface.

The spider scuttled over. It stopped next to his hand for a moment, and when Virgil didn’t pull his hand away, it slowly stepped on.

“It’s solid,” Virgil said.

“Maybe,” Remus said. “Or maybe you just _think_ it’s solid. Am I affecting the world or everyone in it?”

It was way too early for philosophical discussions, so Virgil just watched the spider crawl up his arm. It had reached his elbow when what was happening fully set it. Virgil jerked back with a cry.

“What is it?” Remus asked. The spider disappeared into nothing.

“This is real,” Virgil said. “ _Magic_ is real.”

“Uh, yeah,” Remus said. “Hey, are you okay?”

Virgil barely heard him, just like he barely heard the jingle of the door open and close. The world was spinning around him, and suddenly something seemed to crush his chest.

“I think I’m going to faint,” Virgil muttered.

The dog barked, sounding alarmed. Distantly he was aware of someone saying his name, someone taking his arm and leading him away. When the arm let go, Virgil sank down to the floor. Something nudged his leg, and he jerked back, in case it was another spider, but it was just the dog. Someone was counting, up to four, then seven, then eight. Breathing patterns.

Virgil matched the counting, and slowly felt himself come back to himself. He was sat in the back room, with Janus crouched in front of him, frowning. The dog sat by Virgil’s legs. Virgil had put his hand on the dog’s fur at some point. The dog looked slightly confused, but seemed okay with it.

“When did you get here?” Virgil asked.

“At the start of your panic attack,” Janus said. “Are you okay?”

“Fine,” Virgil answered.

“It’s been a while since you had one,” Janus said hesitantly.

Virgil shrugged. It was true. High School had been the worst. Virgil had lost track of times Janus would pull him out of classrooms and into some quiet part of the school no one else knew about. No matter how often the teachers tried to stop Janus from going with him, Janus would refuse to leave his side until Virgil was better.

“Guess it was just a bad day,” Virgil muttered, because there was no way he was telling Janus what had just happened.

“Did the customer-?” Janus began, but was cut off by the dog barking.

“He didn’t do anything,” Virgil lied.

Janus’ frown deepened, because he could always tell when Virgil was lying. Virgil sighed.

“He wasn’t being a dick or anything,” Virgil said, which was true. “It just kind of… happened.”

“Alright,” Janus said at last. “Do you want me to deal with him?”

“No, I should do it. Plus, I kind of kidnapped his br-dog.”

If Janus noticed the connection, he didn’t say anything, just nodded and helped Virgil to his feet. Virgil went back to the counter, where Remus was still standing, drumming his fingers on the top.

“You alright, emo?” Remus asked. “Roman didn’t bite you, did he?”

The dog – Roman, the dog was Roman and was a _person_ looked indignant at the suggestion.

“I’m fine,” Virgil said. He shook his head. “Not, scratch that. _Magic is real_.”

“I… don’t see why that would be a bad thing?”

Virgil glanced over his shoulder, but Janus wasn’t around. “What the hell am I supposed to do now?”

“You could come with us,” Remus suggested.

“What?”

“Well, we _do_ still have to break the curse. You could help!”

Virgil and Roman looked at Remus with matching incredulity.

“I don’t know anything about magic,” Virgil said.

“It’ll be a learning experience!”

Virgil shook his head. “You only just _met me_.”

“So? You’re cute, and you seem fun. And I _know_ I’m fun.”

He should say no. Magic or no magic, he didn’t know Roman and Remus, how did he know they weren’t serial killers or something? _Magical serial killers_. And even if they weren’t, breaking a curse sounded suspiciously like an adventure, and apparently getting cursed by a dragon witch was a normal part of their lives.

Virgil really, really, didn’t want to know what a dragon witch was.

All he had to do was say no, and Remus and Roman would leave, and Virgil would go back to his life and probably never see them again. He’d keep selling incense and crystal balls, and pretend he didn’t believe in any of it. He’d finish work, then go back to his shitty apartment, then go to work again.

Funny, he’d never thought of his life as boring before.

“Janus,” Virgil called. “I’m taking a break.”

Remus’ face split into a grin. Roman rolled his eyes, which was quite impressive, for a dog.

“Okay,” Virgil said, once they were all outside. “How do you break a curse?”

“I have no idea!” Remus said. “Why do you think I came here?”

“Great. So none of us have any idea what we’re doing.”

“Hey! You’re getting the hang of this.”

Well, even if he died, at least it wouldn’t be boring.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are always appreciated! 
> 
> Im also on tumblr: sparrow-flies-south.tumblr.com


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